05.15.13
by

Known For

Over the last couple years I have been struggling with the complications of having Spina Bifida. Although a recent surgery has made things much better I am still working with doctors to find new ways to enjoy life. I try my best not to complain about living with this disease but naturally find myself frustrated and discouraged. I could write and blog endlessly about the daily challenges I face. Some might even say I have a right to. In fact, I’ve had people surprised that I could even be a follower of God. “How could you love a God who would allow you to be born this way?” they might ask.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my share of yelling at God, asking him to take this away from me but if there is one thing I have learned in my walk with Christ it’s that this isn’t his fault. Our culture likes to play the blame game but the truth is we need to sort out responsibility; God isn’t responsible for my disease, sin is. God isn’t responsible for pain, he is the redeemer of it. When we chose to walk away from God he chose to come to Earth and save us through his son Jesus.

You see, as much as I could write complaining about my condition, I could equally if not more so write about my blessings. I could tell you how most people born with Spina Bifida never walk or think for themselves. I could tell you how my prognosis was exactly the same. I could tell you that 9 out of 10 people with Spina Bifida develop a condition called Hydrocephalus, a condition in which there is too much fluid surrounding the brain causing mental retardation and other complications and how if I were in the room with those 10 people I would be the one with ‘normal’ brain function and one of the few walking.

I could tell you all of these things and truthfully, I should testify to the blessings much more often. For the most part I keep silent about my condition and choose to not let it define me.

Our culture has a very interesting attitude towards people with disabilities often giving them a bi-polar experience in life. We are often either hated or loved, ignored or glorified. There are countless numbers of students with special needs who daily resent of going to school because they fear they will be bullied. I was one and I work with them now. On the other hand, there is a growing amount of schools advocating the recent Bullying Movement and showing students with special needs that they matter. One such example includes a local Michigan student who went from being bullied to being the homecoming queen after her story gained attention. We can’t measure the motives or intentions of her peers who voted for her but we can say we have seen many more students with special needs spotlighted by their peers in what appears to be a positive change in the way these students are treated.

But is this really what people with disabilities want? Well, everyone wants to be treated with dignity and respect whether they have a  disability or not. Some go as far as to exploit their disability in order to take advantage of the compassion of others. I’m not naming any names but it does happen.

When I go out in public in the summer wearing shorts I often elicit a lot of stares even some dirty looks. I try not to allow it to bother me too much. In fact, I have a friend who when they go out with me flashes dirty looks back at those who stare at me. This isn’t something I would promote but it is pretty funny! But do you know what I want more than anything?

To be treated just like anyone else.

I don’t mind the questions. It’s natural that I am going to get asked about my condition but what I do mind is getting stared at. I would much rather just be asked and given the opportunity to share my story. Don’t hear me wrong. I’m not looking to be glorified. I don’t want to share my story because I want attention, sympathy or someone to tell me how inspiring I am. I don’t need any of that. I just want to share my story because we all have a story to tell.

More importantly, I want to tell the story of Christ. That’s what I want to be known for. I don’t want to be known as the Youth Pastor who wore braces. I want to be known as Matthew. Yes, I wear braces but that’s only part of my story. I have a story of Christ redeeming me and shaping who I am that doesn’t always have something to do with my condition. Just like you, I am a sinner too. Just like you, I’ve experienced ups and downs. Maybe our ups and downs have been different but we all have a story to tell.

When I die, I want the most spoken thing about me to be that I was a follower of Jesus Christ and that I used whatever gifts he gave me to glorify his kingdom.

That’s what I want to be known for.

I’m not ashamed of my condition, I’m just not interested in keeping the attention on me. I’d much rather spend my time making his name known, not mine.

05.06.13
by

Higher Expectations for Youth

I was working with a young man who has a mental disability. It was towards the end of our time together and we had made quite the mess in his bedroom and living room. Before leaving I suggested we clean up our mess. He went on to tell me that he didn’t need to because his Mom would do it. When I explained that it wasn’t his Mom’s mess and therefore not her responsibility he offered me another reason. This time he told me that he didn’t need to clean up his room because he has a mental disability.

He was dead serious.

I lifted my pant legs and showed him the braces on my legs and asked him; “If I wanted to get somewhere I have to walk right?” “Yes” he responded. “Well, what if I decided I shouldn’t have to walk anywhere? Is someone going to come pick me up and carry me everywhere I want to go?”

After laughing for few minutes together, we cleaned his room together.

I see this all the time. While the students I work with do have professionally diagnosed mental disorders many them also suffer from living in a culture of low expectations.

Over the years, American Youth have seen a shift from being expected to be contributing members of their household both financially and physically to being given the challenge of coming up with the wittiest Facebook status, Instagraming ‘duck faces’ and not getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant before their age 18. By no means does this mean abstinence is being promoted. In fact, even if you do get pregnant, you can always be the next star on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and then go on to Teen Mom.

Sex has perhaps seen the greatest lowering of expectations in our culture. I watched MTV’s Movie Awards just a few days ago and nothing was held back. I can’t repeat half any of the things said or sexual acts portrayed on this blog. Yet, with rewards such as “Best Shirtless Performance” and “Best Kiss” you get a glimpse of what culture is telling our teens about sex.

Our cultures tells young people that they can act on their (God given) desires in anyway at anytime with anyone they want without any serious consequences or commitment.

While visiting a United Methodist Church this last weekend, I witnessed about 50 teenagers who were celebrating their confirmation. The pastor went on to explain that in order for them to reach this moment (most were between 12 and 14 years of age) they had to memorize scripture, learn and understand church doctrine and were informed of the seriousness of their decision.

They were also taught Joshua 24 where the covenant between the Israelites and God is renewed at Shecham. Notice the dialogue between Joshua and the people:

14 “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

16 Then the people answered, “Far be it from us to forsake the Lord to serve other gods! 17 It was the Lord our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled. 18 And the Lord drove out before us all the nations, including the Amorites, who lived in the land. We too will serve the Lord, because he is our God.”

19 Joshua said to the people, “You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. 20 If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you.”

21 But the people said to Joshua, “No! We will serve the Lord.”

22 Then Joshua said, “You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the Lord.”

“Yes, we are witnesses,” they replied.

23 “Now then,” said Joshua, “throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel.”

24 And the people said to Joshua, “We will serve the Lord our God and obey him.”

Like Jesus asking  Peter three time if he was serious about loving him, Joshua asks the people three times if they are serious about this and three times they replied that they would serve the Lord.

Low expectations for the followers of God are not found anywhere in scripture. In Luke chapter 14 Jesus is talking to a large crowd of followers. A large crowd of interested but not committed followers, ‘fans’ as Kyle Idleman (author of Not a Fan) would call them.

25 Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

31 “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33 In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

Notorious for thinking that nothing bad could ever happen to them, the part of the teenage brain which helps them make mature decisions has not yet been fully developed. Our culture plays on this, telling teenagers that there are no consequences for any actions including their sexual and religious choices. This only adds to our challenge of showing teenagers the truth.

Yet,what if more churches took the approach that I saw in the United Methodist Church? While it certainly doesn’t guarantee any student will have a good moral compass who can argue that having students memorize scripture and count the cost of their decision would do any harm? Although teaching doctrine and having youth memorize scripture initially sounds like a way to get youth to leave the church(and some will) those who are serious about their faith are looking for a faith worth dying for. Instead of expecting teenagers to play games, eat pizza and being thankful if they just show up at all we need to give them a reason to be completely devoted followers of Jesus.

Instead of selling Christ to teenagers, our churches need to be warning them of the cost because it goes completely against everything else they are being told. We need to be the ones expecting more from them than duck faces. We need to let them know that they can be world changers for the kingdom of God. We need to warn them that although the cost is high and it goes completely against everything else the world is teaching them that it’s worth it. Or as Jesus says in Matthew 16:25

“That’s okay. I wasn’t serious when I told you to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me. Do what you want. YOLO! 

Ok that isn’t really what he said.

“Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

04.30.13
by

A Little More Like You

Sunday morning in the college and career class I attend, the leader of our group asked us to rate our relationship with Jesus on a scale from 1 to 10. It got pretty quiet, pretty quick. We have been reading a book called Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman who challenges his readers to not just believe in Jesus or root for his cause but allow him to interrupt their lives.

‘Let he who is without sin cast the first answer.” I remarked. I knew what our leader was asking us but questioned in my mind what criteria we were using to grade ourselves. If the ruler is reading your Bible everyday or praying then I get a gold-star.

Yet the Bible is pretty clear about what God is looking for. He tells Samuel when choosing David as King Of Israel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7) 

God looks at the intentions, desires and motives of our hearts and his standards are very high. In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, tells us that even if we are angry at someone we have already committed murder within our hearts. Again, He says even if we look at a woman with lust then we have already committed adultery in our hearts. He ends this sermon by summing up how we should live, “Be perfect therefore as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (v. 48).

If we take these words of Christ into account then I would have to say that my relationship is a zero maybe even minus two or three. Like Paul, I am the worst of all sinners. Like Peter I know what its like to deny Christ when I refuse to yield to his will.

The church is often sub-par when it comes to being an environment for allowing honest conversations about the desires of our heart. There is an overall expectation in the church that the members of the congregation have it together. Sure, someone might have some financial struggle for which they ask for help from the church but many of the real eternal struggles of those in the church tend to stay silent.  We can’t always see hearts and intentions and truthfully, many people prefer it that way.

I was having a conversation with a friend who is also in ministry about this subject.  You see, as difficult as it is for the laity to confess that they aren’t perfect and actually struggle with a specific sin and not just the cliche admittance of struggling with sin in general, it is even more difficult for a pastor to admit this.

I think the amount of pastors struggling with grotesque sin is probably rather low but when the senior pastor is struggling with anger who does he turn to? The board he is mad at? The congregation who holds him on a pedestal?

What about youth pastors?

I know first hand as a rookie youth pastor that I dealt with sin in my life and making mistakes as I learned how to do ministry and often times it feels like there is nobody you can talk to. The risks seem high, losing your job, saving face etc. Yet, in reality, the cost of not learning from your mistakes, the damage it can cause to the Church and most importantly, the separation sin puts between us and God is far greater. (And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? Matthew 16:26 NLT)

My friend  Matt Mendenhall got the conversation started on Facebook in this post:

I had a conversation this morning with a ministry buddy and I had a thought. I went from a teenager in a youth ministry to a youth pastor in four short years. Six years later I have survived and learned a lot, with much yet to learn.
But is this healthy, or are we setting young people called to ministry to run into huge problems?
My shallow grasp of history shows me the prerequisites in ministry preparation were much higher.
Terry L Bley
Depends on the person. Today’s average ministry student has a lot more emotional / physical baggage to work through. The average college graduate will not have the maturity or experiential readiness he/she needs. The key…people like you who continue to invest and disciple. I won’t recommend a young graduate to a position unless I’m assured he will be mentored and led well with huge doses of grace.
Indeed, mentoring is the key. Turning from fans to followers of Jesus is best done through intentional discipleship. It’s in these kind of relationships we find someone else in the church who we can confide in and be honest with about our struggles. It’s through mentoring that we ask someone older, wiser and more mature in their relationship with Christ not to makes us like them but to help us become a little more like Christ. It’s to help us move from negative three to negative two and closer and closer to the image of Christ.
This week I had the opportunity to make a virtue stick with a young man I mentor. A virtue stick is a walking stick painted with words or virtues that you want to embody in your lifestyle. I had the opportunity to make one myself with a mentor of mine. Some words found on a virtue stick might be “Faithful” “Honest” or “Caring”. There is nothing magical about the stick, it’s just a reminder. After he chose his words and completed his stick, he started to tear up. He told me that he felt overwhelmed and that he would never be able to hold to all these virtues everyday, perfectly.
This is the child-like faith Jesus was talking about. Not worrying about saving face, not worried about his self-image and having someone he can confide in, this young man was beautifully honest with me.
“That’s why God gives us the Holy Spirit and each other” I said.
I went on to explain how the Holy Spirit was given to empower us and how we have  each other to hold one another accountable, encourage, support and well…
to make us a little more like Jesus.
So this week I want to challenge you. Find yourself a mentor, find someone you can be honest with. Don’t do this thing alone because you have an image to maintain or a reputation to keep. Lay down your sin and pride, not because you have face to save but because you have an eternal relationship with Jesus who see into the very depths of your heart.
04.21.13
by

Extending Forgiveness

You ever get one of those text messages out of blue? The kind were the person refers to you by name but your first response is “who is this?” I got one of those messages last week. It was from someone I know but hadn’t spoken to in years. We were never really close friends but had a mutual friend who is very important and very close to both of us. At some point we decided to hate each other. We saw one another as a threat and voiced our accusations through our mutual friend. We developed a bitterness without ever even confronting each other. Our fight consisted of mostly assumptions and ignorance. I was at work when he messaged me so I had to call him back later. I spent a good part of the day wondering what he wanted to talk about and somewhat preparing for a fight. What I got from him was very different.

On the other side of the phone, a trembling sorrowful voice begging me for forgiveness. Without hesitation, I forgave and asked for him to do the same for me as well. In just a matter of a couple minutes, years worth of unjustified hate was allowed to dissipate.It wasn’t something that I thought about everyday. In fact, our disagreement only came to mind a few times a year. Yet despite what I did on any given day, there was still a sliver of bitterness hiding somewhere in my heart and anyone knows that even a little sliver left alone over time can develop an infection.We aren’t meant to walk around with these slivers, sandbags, or whichever term you want to use that gets the same the point across.

I don’t know about you but it seems like whenever God wants to teach me something he lets me know everywhere I look.

Just a couple days after this experience, a fiend of mine, Carrie Koppelman, posted this on her Facebook

“True peace and joy can only be found when finding forgiveness.”
It’s so true. The joy and peace I experienced in that mutual exchange of mercy was the most genuine I have ever felt.
Around the same time another friend of mine, Toby Garland,  posted a quote that jumped out at me.
“Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you free.”
Again, this is true. When my former enemy and I decided enough was enough there was no more discussion or defending the reasoning behind our anger. When you choose to forgive you choose to forgive it all and decide that you are no longer going to defend yourself.
Forgiveness isn’t a conversation about who is right. It’s an action in which we are passing along the same forgiveness given to us by Jesus and that forgiveness is incredibly powerful. Have you ever thought about what all Christ forgave us for? Just my sins alone is overwhelming!Yet, he didn’t die just for me. He died for a multitude upon multitude of sins which he himself was not guilty of committing. If you think about it, we really don’t have much of a soapbox to stand on or a reason not to forgive someone else.
Forgiveness extends farther and wider than we will ever understand and we have the chance to extend it even further. As his lights in the world, we are the bearers of the love and grace Christ gave to an undeserving world.Even the most undeserving. This week, a terrible tragedy happened in Boston. One of the two men who committed this act of terrorism was killed and the other arrested. I’m incredibly happy that authorities were able to arrest him and the people of Boston can now live in peace. Yet I have to say, I am praying for him. I realize he is a Muslim, but if I believe that Christianity is the truth, I also have to believe if he (or anyone) were to become a Christian that Jesus could forgive him too. Likewise, I am called to pray for such a thing to happen.That is how radical forgiveness is. It goes beyond the justice he will be served here on Earth should he survive his wounds. I don’t like him and I don’t love him. I’m angry at him and a part of me shouts death penalty but a part of me remembers that’s what I deserve too. No, I’ve never blown anyone up but I have fallen short and I have sinned and the punishment for any sin is death.
Thank God for the grace of Christ! There is nothing more I desire than for all to come to a saving knowledge of it. It would be hard for me to extend forgiveness to this man. I would hesitate.But I don’t think Jesus would.
Oddly enough, a beautiful picture of forgiveness comes from someone very close to the men who wrecked havoc on Boston.
The uncle of the bombers paints for us a beautiful picture of what forgiveness looks like as he seeks it on behalf of his two nephews.

“With the families of — with, with those who suffered — we’re sharing with them their grief. I’m ready to just meet with them. I’m ready to just bend in front of them, to kneel in front of them seeking their forgiveness.” Extending forgiveness is just as much about asking others to extend it to us as it is about us extending it to others. Sometimes this can even include things that we  didn’t personally do but were done in the name of the faith we support. We do this as a reflection of the obedience of Jesus to pay the price of sins he wasn’t responsible for (namely, every single one!).
In his book Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller and a couple of his friends set up a confessional booth on their college campus but this confessional booth is different. Instead of having people come to confess to them, they actually ask those who come for their forgiveness instead. They ask for forgiveness for the terrible things done in name of Jesus, things such as the crusades, money scheming televangelists and genocides done in the name of God. Of course, they weren’t personally responsible for any of those things. Yet, by asking for forgiveness they were able to close the gap between the negative connotations that are held by those who have only seen Christianity at its worse and the true Jesus.
I think sometimes we get so excited to share the joy and peace we have found in Jesus that we forget how the outside world has seen us. When “churches” such as Westboro Baptist (whose slogan is “God hates fags”) are highlighted in news and televangelists selling “anointed” handkerchiefs are all one has seen of Christianity, I find that I can only apologize and  ask for a chance to share what Jesus is really about.
In the same way my former friend and I developed a bitterness towards each other without ever even confronting each other based on assumptions and ignorance so have many non-Christians developed a poor outlook toward Christianity.
Perhaps we can be the ones to change that.
What if you and I were to extend forgiveness as far as possible in both giving it and receiving it? I can only imagine!
May God help us not to hesitate in giving forgiveness and to humbly beg for it, even for things we didn’t do but are perhaps somehow associated with.
04.10.13
by

Keeping the Faith

Something happened a couple weeks ago which put my relationship with God in a funk. Like many, my relationship with God often looks like phases of high and low. Although they are rarely allowed to admit it, Pastors and Youth Leaders don’t always feel close to God either.

I have to be careful here. This isn’t to say that I lost my faith, stopped believing or walked away and I am not trying to portray my relationship with God as one that is off and on again. I am confident that I am redeemed by the grace of Jesus and have never chosen to walk away from this.

With that said, I wrestle with sin too and two weeks ago a door that had been shut for many years had been re-opened. This no doubt came because more than ever, I have been seeking God through prayer, worship, reading, wisdom, music, word etc.

For two weeks I felt torn between the progress I had made in my walk with Christ and the temptations knocking at my heart. I gave into neither completely and by doing so gave into both. Sometimes Satan’s attacks on our heart aren’t to change them to desire to worship him but just to distract us from God.

Check out this Facebook conversation between my friend Kate and I as she gives further insight into this.

Kate Nowak

…When does satan attack us the most? when we are the most threatening against him…when we are following God the most…turning our lives around…when we are sewing the seeds of God inside of ourselves…in those times Satan is attacking us because he sees the value of us in the kingdom of God…he sees us as a threat.

Matthew Wyatt

That’s true, he does seem to leave us alone when we are complacent and lukewarm.

Kate Nowak

he (Satan) picks his battles and conserves his energy

so the more he’s attacking….the more threatening we are?

which could be translated as the more valuable of a vessel we are.

not that works = more love from God but Satan certainly doesn’t want us changing to become like Him.

I feel like he’s satisfied as long as he’s distracting people from God.

Matthew Wyatt

Yea, I was just thinking…there are a lot of people living in sin but I think the percentage of people purposely worshiping Satan is fairly low.

Kate Nowak

I think he wants to worshiped, but he’s more just against God.

Matthew Wyatt

Agreed

Kate Nowak

So it’s kinda a complement when Satan is attacking, falls under the unwanted blessings

Matthew Wyatt

I  suppose that is true.

Kate Nowak

It’s all in perspective.

<END>

I was becoming lukewarm again. I wasn’t losing my faith but I wasn’t growing in it like I was either. I didn’t know what to do. I had hit a standstill. In my mind, in order to be focused on God again I needed this temptation to be taken away. Like Paul, I needed this thorn removed from my flesh. At least I thought. Then there was last night.

Last night was a familiar night to me.

It was much like a night I had experienced a year ago.

On the other end of the phone is a girl I am desperately trying to keep in my life because at that point I didn’t have much else. In my car, out in the thunder and rain I felt hopeless. Every emotion I had was on high alert, pain, sadness, anger, it all overwhelmed my mind and heart like a flood. I felt like I had lost everything.

That was last year. Last night it was my friend in the passenger seat of my car in the thunder and rain, experiencing all of those emotions familiar to anyone who has broken up with their significant other. I’m not going to put words in my friend’s mouth about how they felt or overly try to compare the similarities of our experiences but is interesting how we go through certain situations ourselves in preparation to help others go through it as well.

I shared with my friend some of the things  I had been learning in the last year. First, that God has designed me to live for something bigger than myself and that in the end, the only thing that matters is glorifying him and furthering his kingdom on Earth. Second, that because of our brokenness you can’t expect another person to bring you healing and full satisfaction because broken people can’t fix other broken people. Thus, you must rely and trust in God to be your everything.

I don’t know what all she got out of that conversation, but I walked away encouraged. You see,this wasn’t just about helping my friend get through this familiar situation. It was also about my heart too. Encouraging my friend, sharing what I learned, it reminded me of how far I had come and helped me to get back on track. Suddenly I wasn’t lukewarm anymore.

The temptation, the thorn, it wasn’t taken away. It’s still there and that’s ok;  something is always going to be there. I didn’t need it to be taken away, I needed to be reminded of the power in the Holy Spirit which helps s to conquer such temptations.

I would urge everyone to try this experiment. The next time you are struggling, don’t wait for the temptation to be taken away and don’t wait for someone else to encourage you. Be proactive. Encourage others and listen to your own words. Listen to the words of the Holy Spirit speaking through you. Own them, act on them, live them out. Come out of the miry pit and remember how far the Holy Spirit has brought you and how far he wants to take you.

Sometimes reminding someone else to be strong in their faith is just the reminder you need to stay strong in yours.

04.03.13
by

go and do likewise

In his epistle, John writes about sharing Jesus with others. He gives us a very straight to the point command,
“Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” Put another way, we cannot say we know Jesus if we do not treat others the way Jesus did, the way he treats us.

How did Jesus treat others? Let’s look at some of the interactions he had with others.

To a woman who was accused of adultery he said “I don’t condemn you, go and sin no more”, offering forgiveness.
To a man covered with leprosy he touched him and healed him, offering him worth and value.
To 4,000 hungry persons, he gave food, meeting their physical need.
To a a Samaritan living a secret life, he reveals himself, his identity.

Jesus doesn’t just show us how to treat others. He teaches us too. In a similar manner to when the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, another question comes up from a man who we are told is an expert in the law. He asks Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”

In his gospel, Luke records Jesus’ answer to this question. His answer is told through a parable of the good Samaritan. You know the story. A man is robbed and left for dead on the side of the road. Two people walk past him not offering any help, one a priest and the other a Levite. Finally, a Samaritan comes along (Samaritans were hated by Jews and vice versa).

The Samaritan not only helps the injured man by bandaging his wounds, but he goes even further and puts him up in the local Holiday Inn on his tab. After telling this parable, Jesus then asks the man “Who do you think was a neighbor to this man?” The answer is obvious but Jesus adds something.

“Go and do likewise”

Note that he doesn’t say, go tell people their sinners and I can fix them or to go have logical debates and tell people the facts about me and salvation.

As Christians we have a responsibility to share the gospel of salvation through Jesus with others. As such, we have to ask ourselves what is the best way to go about doing this. I don’t doubt that for some logic and reasoning is an effective method. However, I think the most powerful expression of our faith we can make is by living it out for others to see.

Let me give you a personal example. I recently had to share with my accountability partner a mistake I made. Naturally, I was nervous. Being held accountable to someone else is a powerful way to grow in your faith but it can also be quite terrifying because of the personal depth we agree to share with another person. My accountability partner knows things about me that I would never share with anyone else. The thing I admire most about him is how non-condemning he his when I admit my shortcomings. Instead of throwing a stone, he shares with me the grace of Jesus. That’s not to say he doesn’t call me out, he has never told me “that’s ok no problem” after telling him about a mistake I made.

What does he do? He encourages, he challenges, he extends forgiveness, he prays for me, he believes in me. He lives out his faith in our relationship and doing so helps me to grow in mine. What if it’s the same in our interactions with non-Christians?

What if when someone comes to us with a problem and instead of just seeing it as drama, we offer a listening ear?
What if when we knew someone struggling financially, we helped them out in anyway we could?
What if we passed along the same mercy, the same love, the same patience, and share in moments of grace with others?

One afternoon, I went to a museum with a friend and in the museum gift shop was an employee, a young beautiful woman in her early twenties. I approached the young cashier to ask a question about something in the museum. It was then that I noticed her arms. Up and down from elbow to wrist on both sides were countless scars, thick and white. Some small, others taking up the entire width of her forearm. The remnants of experiences of pain, regret, confusion and lies. She caught my glance and looked down at her arms, quickly lowering them from my view.

While my friend continued looking at gifts I continued a small-talk conversation with this young woman. No, I didn’t ask. It wasn’t appropriate and in that moment it didn’t matter. What mattered in that moment is that I treated her like a human being who had value. When my friend finished shopping I introduced myself and thanked her not with just words but with an extension of my hand to shake hers. A simple polite gesture to pass on the same grace and value that Jesus has given me despite all of my mess; to come close to her scars without fear, to let her know that she was worthy of respect and value and to let her know she wasn’t excluded.

Did she accept Jesus as her savior in that moment? Probably not, especially since I never even mentioned Jesus. In that moment that wasn’t the goal. So often we ‘evangelize’ by going up to complete strangers, not having any idea what they have been through or the situations they are currently in and share this joy with them that we have and we just assume they will grab on too. Now, there is something to say for the Holy Spirit going ahead of us and preparing people to receive this direct form of evangelism but I think more often than not people need to know that they are valued and cared for and heard out before they will accept a new way of living.

We see this in the way that Jesus often met people’s needs before saying “Go and sin no more”. If my accountability partner had just told me I was a sinner or sinning and that I needed to stop would that have been very effective? If I had told the girl with scars on her arms that she needs to stop cutting would that have been helpful? Yes, I should stop sinning and she should stop cutting; those are the desired outcomes.

But people want to be understood.

People don’t need to be told how awful they are. They need to be understood. We must understand that just like us, others are searching to fill the empty hole sin left in our hearts and just like us, they don’t always fill it with the right thing at first either. We’ve all tried to fill that emptiness with something else, someone else. Money, sex, power, materialistic possessions. We have all been there. We have all tried that.

Going and doing likewise is sharing with others the same understanding, compassion, love and mercy Jesus showed us. It’s more than just sharing the gospel and salvation of Jesus Christ with others. Yes, that is the ultimate goal. However, as the man In Jesus’ parable lay on the side of the road, injured, perhaps unconscious, bruised and beaten the best approach wasn’t to shake him, wake him up and tell him to stop sinning and to accept Jesus. The best approach was to meet his needs, bandage his wounds and help him get on his feet again.

Perhaps when are willing to do those things for another, when we are willing to “go and do likewise”, we will love neighbors as ourselves and through moments of grace point others to the message of Jesus.

03.22.13
by

All for Jesus

I’m sitting in church writing on an envelope. ‘Matthew Wyatt 7399…Waterford, MI…” It’s the the envelope for my tithe and offering. If you’ve been following my posts, you’ll know that tithing more consistently is a resolution I made at the beginning of this year. I am happy to report that while I had a bit of a rough start, I have been tithing more successfully than ever before. As I filled out the envelope, the Holy Spirit prompted me asking, “why are you filling this out?” Now, I suppose that the purpose of these envelopes is mostly for taxes. That is, so at the end of the year the church can send you a receipt for you to claim your charitable donation on your taxes.

I’m going to be very transparent here.

I wasn’t filling out the envelope for my taxes. Somewhere in my heart I was filling it out hoping to be recognized. Perhaps an usher or the person sitting next to me would see how faithful I was being with my tithing and admire me. Perhaps a church project would be done because of consistent tithers like me.

Nonsense.

Just the other day I had a conversation with a therapist I work with about a client and their family. I was telling the therapist that the mother was being extremely unhelpful. She never provided ideas for activities to do with her son and I often felt like I was being taken advantage of. I drove this particular client way beyond what I would be reimbursed for and not once did the mother recognize this or tell me how much she appreciated it. The therapist had only one thing to say, “If you’re looking for affirmation, you picked the wrong field to go into” she said.

So often I need to do heart checks and motivation checks. Where did this desire to become recognized for the things I do come from?

I think it’s all around us.

We live in a culture that thrives on the fame of the individual. If we have something profound to say we Tweet it, if we took that perfect photo we Instagram it, if we have the best craft idea in the world we Pinterest it, if we have an accomplishment we add it to our Facebook timeline, if we somehow have the time in our busyness to write a story or start a conversation we WordPress it.

And there is feedback o’ plenty! We get liked, shared, recommended, starred, followed, re-pinned, re-tweeted etc. Our culture is constantly giving us an opportunity to share how great we are and be affirmed by others. Now, there is nothing wrong with self-esteem or positive affirmation but I find that if we aren’t careful and constantly checking our motivations then we end up not too far from that conversation between the disciples on who was the greatest. (See Luke 9:46, Mark 9:34).

And it all seems so opposite of what Jesus said in Matthew 6

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Tony Campolo put it this way…

“You can’t preach that you are wonderful and Jesus is wonderful at the same time. If you are going into social work or ministry for emotional feedback, then don’t go into it. You won’t last. Go into it because Jesus said ‘Whatever you do to for the least of these you do for me’”.

One time I had an opportunity to meet the well-known author and speaker, Louie Giglio. I had brought one of the DVD’s I have of a series he did and took out the insert and asked for his autograph. I handed him the pen and insert and in about 2 seconds he was done. He didn’t even look as he wrote, I figured this guy must write his name a lot if he doesn’t even have to look when he does it! But he didn’t write his name. I looked down at the insert and saw “All For Jesus”. Here is a man who is relatively famous in the Christian world, who hosts one of the largest Christian conferences in the nation, pastors a very large church and speaks worldwide and yet he was so genuine about it. Instead of proudly signing his name, he pointed to the one who gave him his talent and ability. In a sense, nobody would ever really know that it was him who signed it. If I died and someone found that insert they would be puzzled as to who wrote on it.

The point is this, we can get SO full of ourselves. Whether its through a title we have, a degree we earned or how we use social media but if you think about it, what do we really have to offer?

The golden-rule tells us to “treat others the way you want to be treated” and yet we treat God nothing like how we want him to treat us. The truth is we can’t; there is a deficit between us and him. Jesus Christ bridges that deficit and allows us to experience God’s mysterious, everlasting, and abundant love, which is always there. Without Jesus we have nothing but our sinful hearts and even with Jesus we still find ourselves choosing to sin.

When we get to heaven we won’t be able to say, “I tithed” or “I went on a mission trip” or even “I worked to change lives”. None of that will let us in. We will have nothing to offer. When we get to heaven all we are going to be able to say is “Jesus” and “Jesus” will be more than enough.

Let us start practicing now. Let us point to Jesus because even now he is really all we have to offer someone else. We’re all broken and broken people can’t fix other broken people.

Maybe next time that offering plate comes around I’ll ditch the envelope and instead offer my heart.