Over the last couple years I have been struggling with some complications of having Spina Bifida. Although a recent surgery has made things much better, I am still working with doctors to find new ways to enjoy life. I try my best not to complain about living with this condition but naturally find myself frustrated and discouraged. I could write and blog endlessly about the daily challenges I face. Some might even say I have a right to. Some people are even surprised that I could even be a follower of God. “How could you love a God who would allow you to be born this way?” they might ask.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my share of yelling at God, asking Him to take this away from me, but if there is one thing I have learned in my walk with Christ it’s that this isn’t His fault. Our culture likes to play the blame game, but the truth is we need to sort out responsibility; God isn’t responsible for my disease, sin is. God isn’t responsible for pain, He is the redeemer of it. When we chose to walk away from God He chose to come to Earth and save us through his son Jesus.
As much as I could write about the struggles I face, I could write even more so about the many blessings God has given me and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to tell the story of Christ. That’s what I want to be known for. I don’t want to be known as the youth pastor who wore braces. Yes, I wear braces, but that’s only part of my story. I have a story of Christ redeeming me and shaping who I am that doesn’t always have something to do with my condition. Just like you, I am a sinner too. Just like you, I’ve experienced ups and downs. Maybe our ups and downs look different but we all have a story to tell.
When I die, I want people to say that I was a follower of Jesus Christ and that I used whatever gifts he gave me to glorify his kingdom. That’s what I want to be known for. I’m not ashamed of my condition, I’m just not interested in keeping the attention on me. I’d much rather spend my time making His name known, not mine.